Testimonials

Here are a few of the people who have written in to thank me for my work to save the subjunctive. If you've had a good experience with this site, or if you have something you'd like to share about the subjunctive, you can e-mail me, and I'll post your message on this page!

Dear Jack,

Shortly after learning about what people are doing to the subjunctive from your website, I was on the phone to my fiancé, and she was all, "I wish I was there with you right now." Instead of "I wish I were there with you." That bitch totally killed the mood, and I let her know about it. Needless to say, she's not my fiancé anymore. Thanks a lot, asshole.

Sincerely,

Bitter and Alone

Dear Jack,

As we have explained before, it would be both against the ETS' policies and, quite frankly, absurd for us to penalize students taking our SAT or GRE exams for failing to use an obscure grammatical construction on their papers. It would be irresponsible for us even to entertain such a possibility. Please stop e-mailing us.

Sincerely,

The ETS

Dear Jack,

I wish that you were my wife. I mean husband. I wish that you was my husband. Or is it "were"? Oh forget it. The whole thing just gives me a headache.

Sincerely,

A Secret Admirer

Dear Jack,

You don't call in more than three weeks and when you do, it's to ask for money? You know very well that your father and I are not going to just give you handouts if all you're going to do is throw the money away in ridiculous pyramid schemes and Internet gambling. Don't you realize these people are taking advantage of you? Have you thought about getting a real job? Oh, and I cleaned out your old bedroom the other night and found some magazines and videotapes under the bed that were not just disgusting—they were deeply disturbing. You should be ashamed of yourself. Maybe if you stopped talking about grammar all the time and took up a healthy, normal hobby, you might find a nice girl who would be willing to look past your bedwetting problem.

Sincerely,

Your Mother